What the Cat Thinks

Alright, it’s that time of week again. This week, I have the prompt of picking any object in this room and after staring at it for a few minutes, I have to write a story revolving around it. Well, one of the “Objects” in his room just so happened to be the Eagle scout’s cat. I have decided that in order to make a story that revolves around the cat I must simply write a story from the cat’s point of view. This is about a day late and I’m sorry about that as I was busy finishing up a chapter for a story I’ve been writing and I completely forgot it was Tuesday. So, without any further delay, here is What the Cat Thinks.

It has been hot for a long time now. The hairless beasts are lucky when it feels like this. But I get the last laugh when it’s cold everywhere. They put things on their bodies to keep warm, but I have no need for those ridiculous things. But now, in the heat, I envy how hairless they are. But you’ll never catch me telling them that, the great oafs. They lumber around, always rushing places, always coddling the those disgusting inbred hair balls, and let them drool all over their faces and stick their noses up each other’s butts. Why would anyone want to own a dog? 

I do digress though. It has been hot these many days, months, years? I don’t know. The only thing I have to look forward to are the times when the small hairball is locked in his change and the larger one…I still do not know my feeling for her, she just lays around. She spends most of these times looking out the portal to the outside. She thinks the large male beast will come back to her sooner if she looks for it. She is a bit of a slow one, but I detest her less than the young one. He ruined all of my plans. I was going to outlive them all! Those disgusting dogs! I was well on my way too, I had already out lived the older two and all I had left was to wait for the slow female to go and I would have finally won! Finally, shown the hairless beasts why I was the one more worth feeding and paying attention to. The the older female beast had to get another one, a young one, one that will surely outlive me! How do I prove my superiority over that thing? It is too stupid to know it’s stupid. It is too young to care. I will lose this battle I have waged these many years, and all because the young thing had to come into my house!

They didn’t even consult me first, they never did though. Always bringing more beasts and more dogs into my house, never asking if they were allowed. Do they not know? Could they honestly be so foolish as to think everything here does not belong to me, but to them? How does one go about teaching the hairless beasts anyway? They seem to feel no need to listen, even to each other. They yell at objects that will not respond back. Then they talk to the less intelligent creatures as though they will truly understand. If they have not learned these simple things yet, they may never learn. Some of them are too old to learn anyway, they live much too long, the hairless beasts, but I suppose this is a good thing as I require the to do my bidding. 

Oh, all this thought has rather tired me. I think I shall nap for a while.


Alright, there it is, the story of the cat and how she thinks. I don’t know why, but I always sort of imagine cats British, even though Gucci is from Japan and then has lived all of the rest of her life in America. To me she randomly has a British accent. I suppose it’s like how for some reason movies about Ancient Rome makes the characters speak with British accents even though they are in Rome and if anything should have an Italian accent. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this funny little one. Until the next time thanks for reading.


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Filed under culture, dogs, life, thoughts, writing

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