That Angsty Moment

So, want to hear something funny, sad, and crazy? I don’t yet drive. Yep, 21 and without not just car but without license. I recently got my permit though. But…I’m a bit behind on life. I only bring this up because just recently I’ve been trying to backtrack and handle things I should already have had. I got my first I.D. at 19.

But I was really sharing this bit of info because it also reminded me of all the other things I have been behind on in my life. I feel wholly unprepared for adulthood. I’m 21 and I feel like I should be so much more informed and prepared for this part of my life. I wonder how many people feel this way and how many people feel totally prepared. Is there anyone not adolescent who loves being an adult? Is there anyone not adolescent and younger who can’t wait to keep getting older? I seriously want to know, when does getting older start being fun again?

It’s like at a certain point we all realize we don’t know what it means to be adult and then we slowly find out it means more responsibility than anyone would ever want, and money that needs to be earned just so it can be spent on obligations, and people who need and want things from you and expect you to be able to provide for them all the time. And suddenly being an adult seems too hard. And suddenly it seems like nobody taught you how to be an adult, and you wonder what all those years of school were for since they didn’t teach you anything actually useful for life, and you wonder where the how to and for dummies books for adulthood are being hidden. But the thing is, unless it’s a joke book it doesn’t exist. Life is hard, and nobody can prepare you for how hard because nobody knows what kind of hard it’s going to be. Nobody lives prefect lives, nobody. Not even the rich. I mean yeah life would probably be easier if money wasn’t a constant worry, but there are things money can’t fix.

I really wish I knew what this post was really about. I honestly wish I could tell you but…I think I’m at that angsty moment when I just want to understand life a little better, you know?But, yeah, sorry for all this non-teen teen angst and thanks for caring (if you care).  Thanks for following for all those who did. And please stick with me through all the stupid pointlessness like this very post. Until next time guys, bye.


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Filed under college, life, thoughts, writing

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