The Pointlessness of High School

I have to make a résumé for a job position I’d love ten times more than I love my crappy sandwich making gig. However, it occurred to me as I sat in front of my laptop, I have no idea how to make a résumé. You’d think it would’ve been a part of some of that all-knowing, extremely helpful real world knowledge they claim to offer in high school, but silly me, I must have missed that day. Or more likely, it never occurred.

Here’s the thing you realize about high school once you get out, you didn’t learn anything to help you survive in the world. Seriously, my math skills reached their peak in elementary school when I learned complicated addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. I have never needed to solve for x in a grocery store. Nor have I needed to calculate the time it will take for this train and it’s equal and opposite to cross paths. But when that annoying guy handed me a $20 and then after I made change handed me the change part of his total I definitely needed to figure that out, and I fell back on my elementary school math skills to do it.

I also know that I’ve learned more important things in college than I learned in high school, and high school prepared me for none of the things I’ve had to figure out during these college years. Like, this is a loan and this is what accepting a loan means (the jest of what a loan means is your fucked). I have been lucky enough not to have to take a loan, but that came from learning good money management, not from school but from broke parents. I also don’t remember what the author’s blue curtains mean anymore, nor have I needed to in any real life situation I’ve had. In fact, do any of you remember how your high school teacher used to actually tell you it was nothing like the real world? Like when they let you do makeup tests, or turn in homework late for a percent of the grade? My teachers used to always tell us that it wouldn’t be like that in college or the real world. “A boss won’t let you turn in the important presentation late.” That’s what one of my teachers used to always say. So, she pretty much told us high school was creating really anti-productive habits in students. It’s like they wanted us to fail.

But more importantly than that, I still don’t know how to make a résumé! And I actually really do need help. But none of my four years of high school provided me with that knowledge, so now I’m asking the real world to teach me something more useful than the area of the rectangle of paper my résumé will go on. What the hell do I do?

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