Next Up

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. Spring break was upon us and school started to demand much more of my attention. Also, since I emboldened myself by taking a writing intensive course I’ve very busy writing things that you all have not had chance to see. Until now! So here is the next of 3 “Susans” as my Writing Prof calls them. I like it, but be honest with me all, I enjoy honest feedback and a appreciate all of you for your opinions.




Missed Communications


It is hot, unusually hot for a January afternoon. The frost on the ground will be melted soon.  He shields his eyes, thinking of the hat he’d left on the dresser this morning. It had been in his hand. He should have grabbed it. Then maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess.

            This stance is all wrong. It gives off the wrong vibe, makes it look like all he cares about was the sun. Unfocused is never a good stance in these situations. Shielding eyes is an unfocused stance. Or a stance that shows focus on the wrong things.

            Body language is so important. He’d read somewhere once that body language counts for half of all communication. That is a huge chunk of communication. Words and tone would be only a quarter each, if that. So his body language has to say how he feels.

            His body language isn’t right for this situation. He is communicating all wrong. But he left his hat at home, what was he supposed to do?

            He really is listening to her. Even if she’s saying he’s not.

            “Do you even want to be with me? Are you even trying anymore?” Her beautiful waves tumble when her head shakes. Shaking heads are always bad body language.  

            Of course she asks that, because according to this body language he is saying, “Jilly, I don’t really care one way or the other.” Of course she doesn’t know. He keeps communicating everything wrong.

            “I am trying.” Find a different position to portray that. Girls pick up on body language really well. That’s why she is always guessing his feelings. He always gets this part wrong. She is always telling him he doesn’t think about her, he’s not caring anymore.

            It had to be the body language. Why can’t he fix it?

            “You’re still not listening to me. Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you care?” No smile, also bad body language.  This is classic unhappy stance. He is the cause of this unhappy. That hurts.

            “Of course I do. I’m listening.” Maybe he’s not paying enough attention. He can fix that. He can focus his mind on only her. She is the most important thing.

            “I don’t even matter to you.” What stance can he do to say she matters?

             The waves ripple again. Then they roll, back from once they came. Farther away from him, farther than they have ever gone before.

            Has he missed something? Had he missed a chance to say the right thing?

            She is gone. She will not come back this time. It’s all in her body.

            Her shoulders are tight, her head low. Her waves vibrate, like unsettled pool water. Her waves don’t really help her body language but he misses them already. She always has such expressive body language. She always says what she means, even when she’s not speaking.

            Unlike him. His body language is atrocious. He always says the wrong thing. He is still shielding his eyes. His stance uninterested. All his focus on her.


More to come, if you’ll be a little patient with me. I promise the next one won’t take as long!


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